How I Prepare to Spend Time with God

As I sat down to spend time with my Father this morning, I went through a ritual of sorts. Not the kind of dead ritual of thoughtless, purposeless religious duty, but a heart-felt practice I've developed over the years. I share it here hoping that you may find something that helps you drawl closer to God each day.

This is not a list. I don't do everything here each day and not in any set order. These are just some of the things I pray as I sit down to spend time with God:

Thanks for the privilege of being able to come to you. I know it's only possible because of what Jesus did for me.

I surrender what I want for what you want with my life. Not my will, but yours be done.

 You alone are God. I praise you. You are worthy of my praise, adoration, love ... all that I am. (I often speak attributes of God, especially those that feel very true that day.)

I am sorry for my sin. (I take some time and take an inventory of where I've fallen short and confess it to God. I try to be tough on myself here and ask myself before God if I am really sorry for my sin.)

What do you want me to see today? What do you want me to hear from you?

What do you want to change in my heart?

In what area(s) am I conforming to the world rather than to you?

What part of my mind needs to be transformed/renewed?

Help me to be humble and quiet before you so that I can truly hear what you have to say to me. Help me set aside my own agenda or anything else that would keep me from hearing from you.

I know I have an enemy who does not want me to talk with you or hear from you. But I know you are for me and are fighting for me. Send your angel armies to protect me today. (I sometimes spend time here asking for God's protection on my family and every other part of my life.)

Thank you for your Holy Spirit who guides me, comforts me, and counsels me. You have taken up residence in my heart and you have given me power through your Spirit to do the things you are calling me to do.

As I read your Word today, I acknowledge that it is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. I want it to be my guide for living. I believe your Word gives me the way to live life your way, which is the absolute best way for me to live. I accept your Word for what it says.

Help me to obey what you tell me in your Word and through your Spirit. I will obey your Word!

It's not about me. It's all about you. I am your vessel. Show me what you want me to do today. Show me how you can use me to bring about your purposes. I am no longer my own. I belong to you.

I love you, Lord. I love you Father. I love you Jesus. I love you Spirit. I love you ... but I know I only can do that because you loved me first. Thank you for your unconditional love for me. I know I don't deserve it on my own accord, but I thank you Jesus that you redeemed me. I love you.

Step Up to the Call: Seven Vital Signs of a Healthy Small Group

Larry Baxter, Small Groups Coordinator at Calvary Baptist Church, West Lafayette, Indiana, blogged recently about my newest book, Small Group Vital Signs and also posted the video of the session I led at Cincinnati Christian University last year.

Step Up to the Call: Seven Vital Signs of a Healthy Small Group

I really appreciate the kind words! 

David Roadcup on Small Group Vital Signs

Last April I had the privilege to lead a main session on small groups assessments at the Cincinnati Christian University Small Groups Conference. The theme of the conference was “Healthy Groups = Healthy Churches / Develop Your Growing Community.” My friend and partner in ministry David Roadcup spearheaded this conference. Here's what David had to say about Small Group Vital Signs:

"Mike Mack's book should be read and studied by anyone in the church interested in assimilating and growing believers! He is a veteran of Small Group ministry and knows how to help people grow in their faith. I highly recommend this work to leaders and lay people, as well."

David is the Executive Director of the Center for Church Advancement and a professor at Cincinnati Christian University. I've had the honor of working with him on the planning committee for CCU's Small Groups Conference. He is a man who has a passion for discipleship and he doesn't just talk about it, it's obviously a part of his lifestyle.

David has been in ministry for more than 42 years. Besides youth ministries, senior/preaching ministries, and college/seminary teaching through the years, Dr. Roadcup has authored numerous articles and books. He has spoken in 37 states and 5 foreign countries. As one of the founding members of the men’s ministry – Promise Keepers – he served on the Board of Directors for 11 years. In 2001, he was on the summer P.K. Men’s Conference Speaking Team. In addition to his wide-spread ministry to the Church and teaching classes at CCU, he is presently on the Board of Directors of Christ in Youth in Joplin, Missouri (C.I.Y.), the Board of Directors of Christian Arabic Services (C.A.S.), and is chairman of the board for SALT Ministries. He has been married to Karen for 40 years. Dave and Karen have two daughters, one son-in-law and three grandchildren. Dave’s great passion is discipling believers and helping Christians grow to deeper levels in their personal walk with Jesus Christ.

David has co-authored a series of books about church leadership that are especially useful for elders: Answer His Call,  Reflect His Character, Lead His Church, and Enjoy His People. He also has helped produce a digital curriculum from e2: effective elders called “What Every Elder Should Know!” See David's Author Page on Amazon for other books he has written or co-written.

Small Group Logistics

You've probably seen the UPS "logistics" commercials. Here's one of the best (sorry UK Wildcat fans):

Wikipedia defines Logistics as "the management of the flow of goods between the point of origin and the point of destination in order to meet the requirements of customers or corporations." The New Oxford American Dictionary defines logistics as "the detailed coordination of a complex operation involving many people, facilities, or supplies."

What does this have to do with leading a small group? Plenty! 

The most vital of all "deliverables" is the gospel message.  It's our job as Christ-followers to make sure the gospel gets to its point of destination--people who do not yet have a relationship with Christ. The method of transportation is -- you know this! -- you and me. We are God's messengers. But none of do this alone.  It takes all of us, working together as the Body of Christ, in large crowds and in small groups, to make it happen.

Almost every definition of logistics I found uses the word "flow." The logistics of the gospel involves God flowing his love and grace into us to overflowing, so that we naturally flow into the lives of the people he has put around us. That is evangelism, and that is discipleship at its core. 

One of your jobs as a small group leader is logistics -- to help with the planning, implementation, and controlling of the efficient and effective flow of the gospel message that God pours into and through us into the people he has put around us.

As I discuss in Chapter 4 of Small Group Vital Signs, a healthy small group is proactive and has goals and plans. These are part of the logistics. So are the vital signs of sharing leadership, sharing ownership in community, and others. 

What logistics do you think are most vital for small groups?

Reid Smith on Small Group Vital Signs

I'm excited to see that churches, groups, and individuals are not only reading Small Group Vital Signs but actually starting to use it in their ministries. I've had the opportunity to talk through it with a college class studying small groups as well as a group of small group ministers in Central Ohio. Today, I'm sharing the words of one of the coolest guys on the planet and someone who really knows about small groups, Reid Smith:

We all want our leadership and our groups to be overflowing with God’s transformational, reproducing power. Michael doesn’t mince words on what it takes to get there. Whether it’s for the new or veteran group leader, look no further for a guide that is both practical and insightful as it draws from the Bible’s unlimited reservoir of wisdom.
 

A generous disclosure of Christ-centered principles that will cultivate health in new groups and rekindle God’s fire in existing ones. Look no further for a book that is practical without being boring and comprehensive without being shallow.
 

Michael continues his legacy of resourcing the Church with biblical keys to foster transformational leadership and group dynamics. Taken to heart, this reliable guide will revolutionize your personal or church’s group-life because it’s grounded in God’s Word and focuses on health. 

 

Reid Smith is Director of Adult Ministries at the 20,000 member multi-site Christ Fellowship Church in Palm Beach, Florida. He is a regular contributing author to smallgroups.com and rightnowtraining.com through his small group training and resource ministry called 2orMore.  

Reid is also on Twitter and Facebook. I love reading Reid's blog. He challenges my thinking about discipleship, small groups, and community. Be sure to add Reid to your people to follow. I promise you'll learn from him!

7 Steps for Dealing with the Little Jerry Parasites that Are Making Your Group Unhealthy

A couple days ago on my blog, I introduced "Little Jerry," a pet name for my little parasite friend I had living in my body several years ago. Read the post here. I talked about how parasites can also come into your church or group and the unhealthy effects they can have on the Body.

To get healthy again, you must take this parasite seriously! Don't fool around, thinking the issue will get better over time. Parasites can and do suck the life out of a body, leaving it malnourished and dysfunctional (that is, unable to function properly), and, if left untreated, the results can be fatal.

To alleviate my illness, the doctor prescribed strong antibiotics that killed and eliminated Little Jerry. That's where, fortunately, the metaphor breaks down. As a spiritual leader, your job is not necessarily to eliminate (although there may need to come a time for that) and definitely not to kill the "parasite." Even those who are selfishly feeding off the Body of Christ can be transformed. That happens in community, by being united with Christ and fellow believers. As people grow spiritually, the goal is to become more like Christ,

who, being in very nature God,
     did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
     taking the very nature of a servant,
     being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
     he humbled himself
     and became obedient to death--
     even death on a cross! (Philippians 2:6-8).

Yes, that's the awesome power of the gospel. People can be transformed. Even "parasites" can develop into humble servants!

Here are a 7 steps for dealing with group members who act as parasites (consumers):

1. Pray for them, surrendering your thoughts and feelings over to God and asking Him to begin the healing process.
2. Love him or her unconditionally, but with boundaries. Listen well to her. Where does he hurt? What obstacles are in her way to growth?
3. Ask him to serve together with you in some capacity. Be prepared for teachable moments to mentor and disciple her. Help him to see the grander purpose in his life that God has given him. Often, knowing and getting involved in his God-given purpose will turn a person from being inward- to outward-focused.
4. As mentioned in #2, be sure to set boundaries. It's critical to put the good of the body - the group - over the selfish needs of one parasitic member. That may require some tough love as you meet with this person after meetings. Be very specific with what and where these boundaries are. 
5. Carefully and lovingly apply Matthew 18:15-17. Allow God's Word and His Spirit to lead you. 
6. Refer the person to someone who can help. This may include pastoral counseling or a Christian counseling center. From my experience, a person who tends toward always taking and never giving also does not see this in themselves. They may even feel they are a very giving person, but even that feeling is all about them! This step may involve a difficult conversation, but remember that you are looking out for this person's interest, not your own. Lovingly help him or her get to the place where he or she can grow and be transformed.
7. If this person cannot or will not become a productive, contributing member of the group - and after you've tried all the steps above and exhausted all your resources - you may finally need to ask this person to leave the group. Again, don't leave them stranded, but refer them to a counselor that can help. Be firm, however, that until they take the steps they need to take, they cannot attend group meetings. This may be the most loving thing you can do for them and for the health and vitality of your group.

As a spiritual leader, you have an incredible opportunity to bring health and vitality to the Body. As the Head over His Body, this is Jesus' intent - to bring unity. "From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work" (Ephesians 4:16).

By the way, my favorite book for dealing with challenging group members is Pat Sikora's Why Didn't You Warn Me? (Standard Publishing, 2007). 

Little Jerry ... and his unhealthy effect on your group

A few years ago I was sick - really sick. I lost about 20 pounds, had stomach aches, constantly felt nauseous, and had a number of other symptoms you really don't want to know about. The doctors ran lots of tests, and finally, after four weeks, discovered the problem. I had a parasite. Giardia intestinalis, to be precise, a microscopic single-celled parasite that makes it's home in the intestines. I just called it "Little Jerry."

It is somewhat unsettling to know you have something living inside of you, feeding on you, exploiting your body while contributing nothing in return. It's amazing to see how microscopic organisms can affect the whole body. For weeks I was unable to function normally. I didn't work. I couldn't exercise. I nearly stopped functioning.

Something very similar happens when the Body of Christ gets infected with parasites. You know what I mean: people come into the church or your small group (which, by the way, is the church) only to take from it, not to give. Today we often call this "consumerism." Regardless of what its called, it affects the whole Body, and if not cared for, can make it so sick it cannot function at all. These "parasites" pay no heed to Paul's instructions in the second chapter of his letter to the Philippian church:

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others (Philippians 2:3-4).

Relationships in the Body of Christ are designed to be symbiotic, not parasitic. In symbiotic relationships, each part benefits the other, and both benefit the whole (synergy). This is a good definition for authentic Biblical community. 

In my next post, I'll share a prescription for the Little Jerrys in your group.